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Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Advices are always easy to get from everywhere, anywhere from Anyone and anytime.

And India, the country where people are Soooooooo "Generous" you'll get an advice, even from a totally Anonymous person, in the middle of a street, even if he has no clue what is your Issue or problem.

And for once try to deny; the advice that people give you, you'll see the pain in them, like you've tried to cut out their kidney even if he was the one who was offering Dialysis.

People are soo emotionally attached to their "Wise Advises" and feel that it's the best thing that the person getting Advised* will ever listen in his whole life. They try to make it more serious for the guy by constantly repeating, "Don't joke I'm serious" "It's the truth of the life " . Yeah like God himself came down to you and told you the Truth of life. 😑

Even though these creatures are everywhere in every form, family members, Long distant unknown relatives, teachers, friends, drunk guys, homeless and uneducated, unemployed people (They are the Well of advises.) but the most Dangerous of all is Your Mum's best friend.


Typical Aunty

How are advises dangerous and that too from my aunt?

Advises are never dangerous till you're the only one listening to it and you are not going to see the person for quite a time. But Aunts and even uncle who are close to your parents are the most dangerous people. They have it all planned and they work in steps.

Step 1: Information Gathering : First they try to find out all about what you do, what do you study, sports you play, what you drive, even what  undergarment brand you wear.

Step 2: Personal Interview : After they have known all about you and what you do they would here it from you. And moreover they'll make a face like they don't know shit. "Beta, what's your name? Beta, you are studying non med? Beta, do you eat food? Beta, do you breath oxygen?" FfS

Step 3: The first advise to you : You'll get their first advise really very soon, and if you are unlucky then on the first talk. You will feel its never bad to hear an elder giving advise. Oh No.. *Evil Grin*


Not engineer? Photographer?

Step 4: The Manipulation : This is the step your Aunt was waiting for, all what she did was for this step. She'll never talk to you on a random day but every day, when your mom meets/ talks with her, she will be there giving advises.
Suddenly the Aunt who had friend few friend including your mom and done BA in a language or no what so ever education, become career advisor.

It goes like this, "Beta Non Med karlo bohot scope hai"..."Beta Computer Science lena bohot scope hai"..." Beta Govt Job karna bohot scope hai"... "Beta Bhad me jao Bohot scope hai".

But as if it ever affects you. But here you getting affected is not the case. Its your parent, specially your mom.
If you got tell my mom that there is a kid of your friend, who is doing Bba and will then become software engineer, trust me she will tell me that and ask me to do it. 😳😳😳

So in short whatever you do, I advise you all to stay away from the advises.

*Paradox*

😂



Trolling Indian PS :)
Badshah is not just any other pet but a 3-year-old bull which had gone missing a few days ago
Well its easy to find weird stuff here but its emotional. ;) LOL NO. Acyually its stupid. 

'Badshah's' posters dot Varanasi's Sarnath village seeking information of its whereabouts and a prize of Rs 50,000 to anyone who can trace the pet.
s. 

Badshah is not just any other pet but a 3-year-old bull which had gone missing a few days ago. The matter has reached the police station with the owner Manoj Kumar registering a complaint with Sarnath police.

Posters carrying the details of the bull, including his physical appearance, size and color, have been put up in the village and its adjoining areas.

Mr Kumar, who described 'Badshah' as his family member, said the bull even had free access to his house.

"He was harmless and used to roam freely in the area," he said. Sad for you Bro, hope he comes back soon. I'm Spreading the word though.

Ladies and gentlemen, Avicii has quit music. Sort of.

Yes you read that right: the King of EDM, as we're sure at least a few people have called him over the years, has abdicated. He's left the building. Goodnight. Sayonara. That's it. Finished. Game over.

In a statement released on his website, Avicii, AKA Tim Bergling, has revealed that we'll never see him again. Well, at least after his current tour ends, he'll no longer be playing live shows. So he's not actually stopping making music, but if we want to see the man himself in the flesh you'll need to become super solid personal friends with him.

This is what he wrote

"Thank you for letting me fulfil so many of my dreams," he says. "I will be forever grateful to have experienced and accomplished all that I have with the help of the team around me and my beloved fans. Thank you to all my peers in the business for building a new movement that took the world by storm and I was lucky enough to be in the middle of it. Thank you to all my partners through the years who believed in what I have created and wanted to amplify my work to a truly global presence."

Ah, the glorious aim of the artist — to establish a truly global presence! Nice work, Timbo, mate. Rather intriguingly, right at the bottom of the post, the man behind classics like"Wake Me Up" and "Levels" includes his new phone number, stating, "P.S. I've got a new phone so you can text me re all this +46769436383. Please bare with me I might not be super quick to reply. X"

Wow great! Right? Nope. Now as he has millions of followers and have got like million of texts I don't think he would be replying mine for sure. Also as you can see in the photos that he doesn't have a good sense of humour. So he's a Twat. Well I'm  gonna keep trying though.


Will follow with more texts in a separate post :v


Location:India 34C, Chandigarh, India

You Need To Do These Naughty Things Before You Get Old Otherwise You Will Regret It Your Whole Life

naughty
Naughty things are the essence of life. For a newly wed couple, naughty things form the core of the essence of marriage. Without this life is useless, because this helps two partner to exert their candor.
Some time or another you will bite the dust. Be that as it may, before that happens, there’s such a great amount of sex to be had.
We all are human. Food is one of our carnal needs. So is $ex. It’s an essential piece of our lives. Without it, there would be no life. It just got substantial, just bear with me. My bad.
There’s such a great amount of provocativeness to be enjoyed before you die. Make sure you do all these things in bed before you die

1. Have A One-Night Stand

There’s something attractive, hazardous, and engaging about a one-night stand. You know what’s far superior? Really having one.
Go get mad and lose all your inhibitions, feel no shame or disgrace.It’s not about condoms here, people. I’m talking  to take it consistently to the next level. But your woman should be comfortable with the idea. These are all things you have to examine before you actually plonk each other in bed.
Naughty Things 1
Have A One-Night Stand

2. Watch A Naughty Movie Together With Your Woman

This is customarily the dream territory of straight guys. It has both the connection that commotion. Try not to be hesitant and enjoy your experience. Moreover, you need not spend money. All you need to do is to use the web to your advantage.
Naughty Things 2
Watch A Naughty Movie Together With Your Woman

3. Eat Nutella Once, Finish The Whole Jar

I mean, I despise the diversion not the player. Notwithstanding, please quit putting pins like,”it’s not healthy to do that”. Even if it is bad for the health, eating it to your fill once will not hurt you. With that off the beaten path, It’s a delight that will make you go, WHOA. Plan to feel everything at least once.
Naughty Things 3
Eat Nutella Once, Finish The Whole Jar

4. Have Intercourse In The Water – The Best Of The Naughty Things

In the shower, but not in the tub.  Most effortless thing to do, and its fun. There’s unquestionably an anticipation by her to learn and adapt. Believe me it is one of the most sensuous things ever.
In any event of probability, making out in the shower with somebody will not hurt you or your woman. All you can expect is getting a bit of cold. If it’s not too much trouble, then why not try it out.
Naughty Things 4
Have Intercourse In The Water

5. Have Intercourse In Broad Daylight

No, I am not a pervert. I’m not saying to play it in the car or in the washroom or whatever filthy place you have thought of. Where have you recently delighted in some disgusting treats? Perhaps in your your neighbour’s restroom during dinner. Just make things a bit interesting for yourself.
Naughty Things 5
Have Intercourse In Broad Daylight
 6. Wear Provocative Unmentionables
Dress your provocative best in any event once. Discover something that makes you feel excellent and rock it. That’s bravery, man. But remember, don’t do it if you have a flabby belly and if you are above forty.
Naughty Things 6
Wear Provocative Unmentionables
 7. Try Mountaineering And Climb Atop The Tallest Peaks And … Fart
It’s not naughty? Then go and fart when you climb the tip of the peak. Now, this seems naughty Without a doubt, it is is one of the courageous thing I have come across .My God, it still gives me the goosebumps. Things get truly hot. Climb the mountain like you are just in your twenties. Perceive to what extent you can hold yourself off and plan for a noteworthy expedition. Then last bit will tickle your memory the whole time. It will stay embedded in your memory for quite a long time.
Naughty Things 7
Try Mountaineering And Climb Atop The Tallest Peaks And … Fart

8. Try To Eat Fried Bugs And Grasshoppers At Least Once

They are fun things to eat. They are tasty and munchy and I ain’t simply discussing it for craps. It’s not about the taste though. But it’s just that it brings out all the feelings of disgust in you. You learn to cope with tasteless food and will never say yech. But it’s super naughty. Make sure the bug you are eating is not poisonous though.
Naughty Things 8
Try To Eat Fried Bugs
 9. Keep A Mistress Once
I don’t think I need to elaborate this point. But it’s super cool and exciting to have another woman in your life. The best thing that you ought to do it is because of the thrill it gives and you learn to multitask.
Naughty Things 9

10. Try Phone $ex

You, She, and a bloody smartphone. For God’s sake, don’t say these things loud. Smartphones should be noiseless aka in the silent mode. Water and snacks should be placed by your side. Your time starts now.
Naughty Things 10
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Try Phone $ex
Any naughty things which you would like to suggest? You can also look for expert advice on impressing your special someone.
If you have been lucky enough to travel in the Indian Railways, you know that it ensures a pretty entertaining journey. You meet new people and strike up conversations in the most candid way with people you've never met before. Each scene that plays out is pretty cliched, but still so mesmerising. Uncles debating about politics, and aunties talking about their mutual interests, every conversation is amusing in itself. Ah! Such bliss. 

But this dude found something really awesome, kept himself entertained and also live-tweeted everything he witnessed. No details spared. 

And trust me, after reading this you would love to travel by the Indian rail service. 


Now that's a great way to approach. I think. 


Oh now that's some big move right there. 


Ain't he swift?


Just feeling up some fabric.


Wow! He's fast.


What is this guy on?


LMAO! First world problems!


Nooo...Make a decision damn you!


Ah! Just got carried away there.


After all, education is important kids.


Now, wait. Who gave her funding?


Exactly my point, dude!


Now this is called being dedicated to a cause. We should all learn from him, people.


I agree, kiss him already.


Ah! She's TamBrahm. 


Education is the hot topic, I think.


Hey come on, that Airtel girl gets enough abuses.


He's just too patient, man!


Haha! You know nothing, girl.


Wait, where are you off to?


Perseverance is key, after all. 


Now that's some trivia we can all use. 


Oh come on, you guys! Now I officially feel bad for the boy.


Yeah! Drop that name girl! 


Airtel-0 Bad karma for Airtel- 100


Now, you ought to have known this.


Already so much passion between these two.


These co-founders are really slow. Just saying.


Mum story dropped and girl scores one!


2% can be a lot folks!


Tension brewing, already?


Fraandship ki kasam!


You should definitely take the offer. I know I would.


Woohoo!! FINALLY!


Aww..ain't he professional? And yes, kiss now? 


Now that's double score, right there!


Random trivia, I guess.


And I thought it was over. Very subtle. 


Oh no! Is it over?


Now everybody knows!


Huh! Whoever said that.


Eavesdropping is perfectly fine if you can get couple of tweets from it, right? Is it? I think. 

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